What to Do When Your Child Prefers Their Yaya Over You
It can sting when your child runs to yaya first—but experts say attachment to another caregiver is normal, healthy, and not a sign that you’re failing as a parent
If you’re a mom who’s opted to get some extra help with the kids, we totally get it. Whether it’s because you’re working or you’re just plain overwhelmed with running the household, having someone you can count on — a yaya —could make all the difference. But what happens when your child says they’d rather go to yaya instead of you?
Worrying that your child prefers their yaya more isn’t unusual
Every time our kids say “I want yaya” or cry for their yaya feels like our hearts are breaking a little. After carrying them in our wombs for nine months, breastfeeding, worrying about them — they have the actual gall to say they prefer someone else? Arrrgh! How dare they?
But here’s the thing: it’s completely normal.
Why do they want to hurt us so much?
They don’t really mean to — but if they’re spending the majority of your waking hours with their yaya, it’s only natural for them to develop a bond. And you should consider yourself lucky that your child feels so strongly about someone else. After all, it probably means they’re doing something right. Imagine if your child screamed or ran away every time they had to be left along with their yaya?
Don’t think of your yaya as competition
Instead, think of your yaya as your partner in raising your kids. You both need each other — you need her to help you take care of your child, and she needs you to tell her what needs to be done. Talk to her more about your child, and you’ll see how much she has to share! Remember, your yaya‘s care could never compete with yours — it just complements it!
Have your own special bonding moments
Yes, it hurts when you hear that your child prefers their yaya, but it doesn’t mean that you should give up and skip out on parenting altogether. Perhaps you could take charge of reading to them bedtime or just PLAY with them whenever you have the chance.
Still getting that little niggling feeling of jealousy? Always remember that no matter what happens, you’ll always be number one to your child. They’ll always love you no matter what — or who —comes into their lives.
You’ll always be their mom, and nothing can ever change that.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes, it is entirely normal and healthy for a child to show a strong preference for their yaya or nanny. This attachment indicates that your child feels safe, secure, and well-cared for in your absence. It does not diminish their biological love for you, nor does it mean you are failing as a parent.
Children cry when their nanny leaves because they have formed a secure emotional attachment built on daily routines and consistent care. This reaction is a positive sign of healthy emotional development and social bonding capabilities. It simply means they will miss their caregiver, not that they love you any less.
Shift your perspective by viewing your yaya as a supportive partner in parenting rather than emotional competition. Reassure yourself that a child is capable of loving multiple caregivers without reducing their bond with you. Focus your energy on creating high-quality, dedicated micro-moments of connection when you are available.
Maximize your limited time by establishing exclusive daily rituals, such as reading a bedtime story, handling the morning routine, or enjoying interactive playtime. Ensure these moments are entirely distraction-free to maximize emotional intimacy. Consistency in these small routines matters far more to a child than the total number of hours spent together.
No, a child will never forget or replace their bond with their parents due to a close relationship with a nanny. Parental bonds are foundational, biologically driven, and irreplaceable over the long term. Your role as a parent provides a unique lifelong emotional anchor that a temporary caregiver cannot replicate.
Related Stories
Naghain ang Akbayan Partylist, sa panguguna ni Cong. Chel Diokno ang panukala House Bill 10058 or Child Safety Against Violence Act para protektahan ang mga bata
The National Council for Disability Affairs (NCDA) has partnered with TikTok Philippines to make it easier to report content that mocks Persons with Disabilities (PWDs).
Helping children navigate social media starts with teaching them to think critically, verify information, and understand the consequences of what they share online
Because raising creative kids also means permitting ourselves to stay curious, playful, and open to growth