Why Parents Shouldn’t Feel Guilty About Having Hobbies

Subhead:  Making time for hobbies can help moms and dads recharge amid the demands of parenting

Hobbies are more than just activities; they’re a part of a person’s identity. More so when they become parents, these keep them sane amid the parenting and adulting chaos. It’s a little something that they get to do for themselves, also reminding them that they’re more than just parents or a homemaker. They’re people who have likes, dislikes, and passions, too.

How Parents Can Support Each Other in Pursuing Their Hobbies

1. Listen to when they talk about it

Sure, we may not completely understand what the hobby is. But the important part is we love our partners and that sometimes means listening to them ramble about it. Even if we don’t fully appreciate or understand it. Besides, doing so is a love language. By listening to talk about it or at least trying to understand it, we show that we’re still interested in them as a person. Not just as a colleague, helping them raise a tiny human being at home.

2. When trying to manage their hobbies, be reasonable

It’s not an uncommon story for men to give up their hobbies when they become dads. Some would say it’s to better afford necessities. Others would say that they have to focus on being a parent. But as many dads would often confide, giving up their hobbies often happened after a lot of shaming.

Hobbies tend to take up space, like most things. So, what I do, as a modern-day wife and furparent, who is married to someone who just loves building his Gundams, is I always shoot the question: “How big is your backlog?” We both agreed: anything higher than two means no new model kits until he’s done!

The same goes for me, who loves building Zoids, thrift shopping, and book collecting.

3. Keep all hobby-related finances personal

Hobbies are a personal pursuit. Not a joint one. So, if let’s say dad wants to pursue building model kits, he’s the one who has to buy the paint, the tools, and the display cases. If mom wants to start collecting jewelry, then she buys the containers and cases for it. It makes sense: they’d know more about it.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with giving a gift here and there to help enhance their hobby. But the majority of the hobby spending, like 90% of it, should be theirs.

4. Be supportive if they want to upscale

If people could always make money doing something they enjoy, then why not?

But upscaling doesn’t mean making money from it. Sometimes, they just want to improve their craft. Painters would like to hold exhibits. Gundam builders join competitions where they display their dioramas. Florists display their arrangements.

While there’s no money involved, winning or at least participating in it gives them a sense of accomplishment.

5. Don’t let others shame them for it

Old-school style thinking is, “parents shouldn’t have a hobby. Once you become a parent, everything goes to your kids and the family’s future.”

It’s why some of the more old-school parents have a strange look on their faces. Or, even make slight jabs at the parent with a hobby. As a partner, your job is to tactfully divert it or be supportive of your partner when they try to defend it. There are ways to eloquently shut down the attempt to do so.

Why Should Parents Have Hobbies?

When a parent has hobbies, it also allows them a chance to experience their childhood. And let’s be honest, that helps when raising kids.

Parenthood doesn’t mean losing yourself — it means expanding who you are. By supporting each other’s hobbies, couples nurture individuality and intimacy at the same time. A hobby is more than an escape; it’s a way to stay curious, creative, and grounded in a world that constantly asks parents to give. When we allow space for our partners to enjoy what they love, we remind them — and ourselves — that joy is not selfish. It’s sustaining.